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We had a temporary cashier to help Maggie in the shop, Mrs.Cardew, an elderly lady who came in for a couple of weeks at Christmas every year, and we were expecting Debbie and Joanna to return during the winter break from university. I filled in wherever I was needed and did most of the Christmas tree deliveries, but had my exams in the Spring for my Cities and Guilds certificate and at Maggie’s insistence spend a good deal of time in the office swatting. The beginning of December was memorable for several reasons some of which were happier than others. I got home on Tuesday night about nine, I had dropped into the habit of staying late at the office either working or studying most evenings. Mum was sitting on the couch reading the paper and sipping a glass of wine, Emma was either out or in her room. She looked up, ‘Hello love,’ she said, ‘sit down and have a glass of wine with me.’ I got a glass, poured myself some Chianti and flopped into the arm chair. We chatted for a few. I shouldn’t have gotten stranded by the storm. I really shouldn’t have kissed him. It would be easier if nothing had happened between us. That way I could leave in the morning and we could treat each other as we always had. Instead I let myself slip into doing something reckless. I hadn’t spoken any words, but I felt like I had made Nate promises with my body that I couldn’t keep. I don’t know how long I lay there without moving, how many minutes became hours. I strained to hear him move in the bedroom above me, but the blizzard outside suffocated every sound. I lay snug and warm in Nate’s flannel pyjamas, tucked beneath the blankets that smelled of him, but I’d never felt as lonely as I did lying here listening to the storm, knowing he was lying upstairs doing the same thing. If I was bold like Rhiannon or brave like Lilly I would have rushed upstairs to him instead of foolishly wishing he’d come downstairs to me. My cell phone rang, scaring me half out of my wits. It was a low.
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